Curses. Vampires. Skunks.
The life of a Witch Singer shouldn’t be this complicated.

After years spent paying off an old debt by working for the vampires, Bridget the Witch Singer receives the opportunity of the lifetime. Solve one vampire’s oops—he turned the wrong person—and she’s a free witch. Desperate to win her freedom, she heads to Assjacket to find the solution to the vampire’s problem and everything goes wrong along the way, including a flat tire, getting sprayed by a skunk and the road trip from hell.

Unfortunately, Martin is no ordinary skunk and his spray is a nervous tick. She does her best to save the beast when her scream accidentally wounds him and springs him from his curse. Good news for Martin, not so good for Bridget who can’t get rid of him. Once in Assjacket, she’s tasked by the BabaYoMama to unite at least two couples and sing at their weddings in order to gain the cure she needs for her freedom.

How much mischief can a witch with
misfiring magical mojo get into?
Plenty…

Life in Assjacket seems to have achieved an odd normal—if living with a former skunk turned into her professor lover and raising a hot-tempered teenager with out of control magic can be called normal. Bridget wants to embrace her new life except…déjà vu is driving her crazy.

Not to mention she still has to satisfy a deal with the vampires, please the Baba Yaga, get Rika’s wild magic under control, oh and—just in case there wasn’t enough on her plate, she has to learn to compromise with Martin, lest he skunk out on her again.

Impulse control has never been Bridget’s best quality. After Rika summons a highlander from the pages of her novel and declares her intentions to keep him, Bridget is pushed to the end of her tether. Then there’s that déjà vu. Maybe it’s just the repetitive nature of small town life.

Of course, when a witch shows up to take her highlander back, it will take Bridget’s odd little family working together to save Angus.

Once upon a time in Assjacket…

My story began when a vampire I dubbed Mr. Nasty-Face sent me on a crazy, impossible task to fix his mis-Turnment of a certain succubus. Easy, right? Yeah, then I ran into the skunk who would change my life (and spray me, but let’s forget that memory). Once I got to Assjacket, well, let’s just say I ended up with the teenager who wasn’t—a kind of happily-while-you’re-here scenario. Now my teen is a grown woman with a Highlander for a lover, and I’m left to deal with Gigi. She wants me to find her a happily-for-real-ever-after and I’ve still got to solve my problems.

So to be clear, all I have to do is undo the unbreakable, pair the unpairable, and keep my man happy. One out of three isn’t bad. I’m a witch singer, not a dang miracle worker.

Just sing at a couple of weddings, the Baba Yaga said, it’ll be fun, she said, it’ll solve all your problems…except no weddings are possible with the witched away brides.

What happens when you are a captive witch and are made an offer you can’t refuse? You get a delightful tale of magic and mayhem.

Bridget has been a captive of the Vampires for many years paying off a debt she incurred by not controlling her magic. She can earn her freedom by finding a way to reverse a turning that should never have happened to begin with. Failure is not an option, so she begins her journey to find the one witch who could help her Baba Yaga whom she “affectionately” calls BabaYoMama.

Let me say this was so much fun to read. Bridget must sing her curses and some of them are hysterical. Talk about switching lyrics. Of course no journey is without it’s trials and tribulations. For Bridget it is a skunk…well a human cursed into a skunk named Martin. He needs to get to Assjacket too so he begs a ride.

One of the bumps in the road is a flat tire, this is a favorite scene.

Panic-fueled adrenaline surged through me as we came to an abrupt halt. Shaking, I glanced at my passenger who had flattened himself against the seat, tail straight up and eyes wide as he looked over his shoulder at me.

“Don’t you dare.” But it was too late. He sprayed me.

And my mouth was open, dammit.

Choking, gagging, and spitting out the foul taste, I managed to get the car into park. Then I did the utterly mature thing— I beat my hands against the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry,” Martin sounded genuinely contrite. “It’s a nervous habit.”

Hardly mollified by his words or his intentions, I kept pounding my hands on the steering wheel. Tears seemed to gush from my eyes and turned the world into a wavering mess. I couldn’t breathe without smelling the acrid odor. It was everywhere. On me. On my clothes. On my car!

“Witchy-poo?” The skunk in question crept toward me. His soft, doe-eyes swam in my gaze. I could barely make out his white capped and striped black body. The tail, at least, was down, or I think it was. It didn’t really matter.

I’d spent years stuck in service to vamps because I said one wrong damn word. Then of course, there was the bill I ran up trying to escape that racket. Then the bill I ran up when I realized they weren’t going to let me go. That was neither here nor there. I had a chance. A chance to fix Nasty-Face’s stupid mistake— not that I thought one single solution actually existed in the universe, but I’d take what I could get.

All I had to do was get to fucking Assjacket. I slammed my palm on the steering wheel once for every word in that sentence. Martin touched me with a paw, and it served as a tipping point for every damn thing that had gone wrong in my life since open bar karaoke.

I screamed.
Long, Heather. The Witch Singer: Magic and Mayhem Universe (The Witch Singer Book 1) (Kindle Locations 371-385). Kindle Edition.

There are lots of surprises along the way and even more once they reach their destination. So much fun and laughter, I loved every second of this book!

5 Contented Purrs for Heather!

If you’ve read the Witch Singer you know that Bridget is not happy with Baba Yaga’s edict that she must help sixteen year old Rika control her magic. Well Rika isn’t exactly pleased either, all she does is go to school and do chores. She doesn’t feel Bridget’s teaching her enough so she’s rebelling in full force teen mode.

Now don’t get huffy things get explained quickly, and a hunky Scot named Angus is just a small issue, really it is.

This is a favorite scene.

“Bridget!” Rika shrieked. “I summoned him. Let me go.”

Yeah, that’s what I thought she’d said earlier. Still not on board with whatever mad plan she’d concocted. The Scotsman—oh Angus, for beef and damn if he wasn’t beefcake…

“Witchypoo,” Martin’s voice took on a distinct note of disapproval. “You’re drooling.”

“Dude, he’s hot but I love you and you’re way hotter.” To prove my point, I twisted, caught Martin’s face in my hands and planted a sinful kiss on his lips.
Heather Long. Bridgets-Witchs-Diary: Magic and Mayhem Universe (The Witch Singer Book 2) (Kindle Locations 334-338). Kindle Edition.

Funny with sizzling heat and surprises popping up when you least expect them.

5 Contented Purrs for Heather!

We continue with Bridget’s story in Assjacket as brides are disappearing on their wedding days. How can Bridget sing at weddings if none are occurring? With a bunch of crazy and upset bridegrooms Baba Yaga dispatches Kirk a warlock with a gambling problem to find the witch bridenapper. He lands unceremoniously in Assjacket meeting a trash panda named Firefox. This in itself is funny but it turns out he is our Bridget’s familiar.

This is a favorite scene when they meet.

The way the purple haired witch narrowed her eyes at him gave Kirk pause. He’d charged over to the witch singer’s house because the insanity at the wedding grotto had given him an altogether unpleasant headache all the yelling, growling, and weeping had bestowed upon him. His feet hurt after tromping through the wilds. He’d run into another cluster of bushes, and now had an unbearable itch crawling along his arms.So, he probably could have been more polite to the two occupants all snuggled up with their bottle of wine, but he just wanted to bag the bridenapper, get his debts paid off, and leave before he caught something permanent. Yet, the moment he snapped at her, she went from a look of cool fury to utter speculation.

Dread coiled in his stomach. Witch singers weren’t bad witches right? Not that he could recall.

“Hey,” the trash panda announced from his feet. “You should start by introducing yourself, bub.”

“Oooh,” the witch singer let out a soft exhale of wonder, and went to her knees. “Hello there, you beautiful thing.”

The red furred little bugger puffed up and all but strutted over to her. “Hello, pretty lady. Forgive my brutish companion, he fell into a mulberry bush then crashed through a poison sumac patch. He’s in a very bad mood.”

“Is he?” The witch singer didn’t even look in Kirk’s direction. Instead she opened her arms and the trash panda hurtled into them and snuggled her. The man who’d been standing next to her watched the whole exchange with a bemused smile. The red furred head rubbed against the witch singer’s chin, a distinctive cuddle, and then she rose pressing a tiny kiss to the creature’s head.

Sure. The rodent got a friendly greeting. The longer he stood there, the more Kirk had a chance to admire the stunning red dress the singer wore, and the way it made her skin glow and emphasized her… zap! Pain shocked him back a step and he jerked his gaze to the mild-mannered man still standing near her whose gaze now focused on him.

The faint tilt to the corner of his mouth told Kirk all he needed to know. Nodding once to the other warlock— because he definitely had the power to be a warlock— Kirk folded his arms. The urge to scratch was driving him crazy. They shared a long moment of masculine understanding. The witch singer belonged to the man with the white stripe in his hair, and he’d defend what was his.

“Look, Martin. Isn’t Firefox adorable?” The singer was still cooing at the trash panda and it was all besotted with her, too. Sparkles filled the air, and he could almost hear the ringing of the bells. The little rodent was her familiar. Well, it could have said something when he fell on it.

“He’s perfect for you, lover.” The man settled a possessive hand on her hip and drew her and her newly accessorized trash panda to him. The critter wrapped around her shoulders like a fur stole and it matched her dress. Even her purple hair began to change colors until it fell in an ombre wave that ended red as the raccoon’s fur.

“Congratulations,” Kirk announced, determined to play the cards he’d been dealt. He summoned a bottle of champagne and held it out. “Allow me to present you with this token upon discovering your true familiar. A day worth remembering.”

“Uh huh,” Martin grunted as he accepted the bottle. “Now, introduce yourself and maybe summon a shirt since you’re half naked and not even an appealing naked at that.”

The witch singer giggled, and it held all those wonderful notes of a perfect concerto. For a moment, Kirk completely forgot why he was there. Even the air around her seemed to shimmer.

“Bridget, darling,” Martin murmured. “Why don’t you take Firefox in and get him comfortable while I take care of our guest?”

The witch spun and gave Martin a kiss that had Kirk’s ears turning red before she whispered something against the other man’s lips and vanished. The moment she disappeared, Kirk remembered how to breathe then took a step back.

Raking a hand through his hair, he stared at the other warlock. “Holy hell.”

“And all mine,” Martin reminded him, even as a little fireball began to dance on his fingertips.
Long, Heather. The Witched Away Bride: Magic and Mayhem Universe (The Witch Singer Book 3). (Kindle Locations 311-347). Kindle Edition.

This tale takes a delightful turn as Kirk and Gigi meet for the first time, although he doesn’t know it at the time she is responsible for the disappearing brides. A fun romp through various shops for a wedding dress and so much more as she and Kirk find romance.

Full of snark, laughs, love and lessons for everyone. This is a thoroughly delightful quick read.

5 Contented Purrs for Heather!

Heather Long

USA Today bestselling author, Heather Long, likes long walks in the park, science fiction, superheroes, Marines, and men who aren’t douche bags. Her books are filled with heroes and heroines tangled in romance as hot as Texas in the summertime.

From paranormal historical westerns to contemporary military romance, Heather might switch genres, but one thing is true in all of her stories–her characters drive the books.

When she’s not wrangling her menagerie of animals, she devotes her time to family and friends she considers family. She believes if you like your heroes so real you could lick the grit off their chest, and your heroines so likable, you’re sure you’ve been friends with women just like them, you’ll enjoy her worlds as much as she does.