USA Today Bestselling Author
I’m deeply Little in my heart.
But no one outside Surrender can ever know.
In my real life, I have a reputation to uphold.
I’m a well-known public persona.
The vanilla world wouldn’t understand.
When I’m alone, I can be myself.
When I’m not, I’m what everyone expects me to be.
I’ve had my eye on Hannah for two years.
When I’ve asked her out, she’s turned me down.
I know she likes me. It’s obvious.
I dominate her, but only inside the club walls.
It’s against strict policy for me to pressure her.
So I wait and watch and hope.
And then fate drops me into her space, outside the club…
The prologue of this book has us at Surrender after Giana and Kendric’s wedding and Hannah is congratulating her.
Hannah only gets to be her real self on the two nights she allots herself each week here at Surrender. The rest of the time she is in the public eye so often that she can’t even hint at her true self. To do so would jeopardize her reputation and career. Even as she’s talking with all the other littles, she keeps glancing at Zane. He is the Daddy of her dreams, only it can never be. Zane is watching her as well, so even though the feeling may be mutual, he’s asked her out a few times, but the answer is always no. It doesn’t stop him from watching her though.
In Zane’s life outside of Surrender, he has a recording studio and has been chosen to record Carolina Fraser, an acclaimed pianist, for a charity orchestra concert. Each member will have their part recorded all over the globe. At a meeting with her manager Audrey Simone, she asks if he could come evaluate the needs to fix the acoustics in the music room of Carolina’s new home. Zane knows little about Carolina as she’s reclusive and a bit mysterious. There are no photos of her that show her full face and he’s more than a little curious. He’s really hoping he gets to meet her when he does the evaluation the next day.
When he arrives, he hears the music and knows he will get the opportunity to meet Carolina. He’s instructed by Audrey to head back to the music room as she needs to take a call. Carolina’s back is to him and in spite of the music spurring images of her wearing a long black gown, she’s wearing a pink t-shirt and jeans with pink sneakers. That for some reason makes him smile.
When she turns around, they both get quite the shock. For Hannah/Carolina Fraser and Zane/Kingston Slade their worlds have just collided.
This is a favorite scene.
“Look at me, Hannah.”
She’s trembling violently as she does so.
“First, let me say, I would never, ever reveal you to anyone. Never.”
She gives a slight nod. “I never should have joined the club,” she murmurs. “It was too risky.”
“I hate that you feel that way. Surrender and other fetish clubs exist for people to explore their preferences without judgment. There’s a code of honor that must be respected.”
She chews on her bottom lip. Her eyes are watering. “I do not mix my real life with my kinky side.”
I nod. “I understand. Most people don’t. Your secret will go to the grave with me, Hannah.”
“I should call you Carolina. I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “It sounds odd coming from you.” Her hands are shaking violently as she lifts them to cover her face.
I physically hurt for her. She’s scared out of her mind and freaking out. I’m not even sure what to say or not say to make this better, but I have to try. “You hold the power here, Hannah,” I inform her. “I hate seeing you so distraught. There’s no need. I swear on my life I will keep your secret. If you want me to leave right now, I’ll do it. We can pretend we never saw each other. If you want me to do what I came here for, I can do that too. I’m professional. I can assess your music room and make a recommendation and disappear. I know you’re scheduled to record in my studio. If you’d like to cancel and make arrangements with someone else, I’ll understand. If you’d like me to not be there when you’re recording, that’s also your prerogative.”
I feel like I’ve laid it all out there.
She ignores everything I’ve said and changes the subject. “I’m not the same person outside the club,” she murmurs.
“I get that. You’re not alone. That’s true for many people, especially submissives.”
She lowers her hands and looks at me hard for the first time. “It’s not true for you.”
I furrow my brow and draw in a breath. “You’re right. It’s different for me. I should have made that distinction. I’m a Dominant whether or not I’m at the club. However, I don’t run around telling people I’m a Daddy Dom in vanilla society. I keep that to myself.”
“I can feel your power.”
I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m kind of glad. “I’m feeling extremely helpless right now, Hannah.
My instinct is to gather you up in my arms and reassure you that nothing has to change just because we accidentally met in real life.”
“My instinct is to let you, but that scares me to death.”
I nod and then tentatively reach out to slowly clasp her hand in mine. Her fingers are cold. I bet they weren’t cold while she was playing the piano. I stroke her knuckles with my thumb when she doesn’t pull away.
She’s breathing heavily. “I’m not Little in my real life.”
She’s wrong, but I don’t point that out. She’s so Little right now that it’s thick in the air.
“Or maybe you’re not a pianist in your real life,” I tease, hoping to lighten the mood.
She gasps, her eyes wide, mouth falling open.
I’ve struck a nerve.
She jerks her gaze down.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
She shakes her head. “No. You’re right. I’ve thought that many times in the past few years. It’s just shocking to hear someone say it out loud.”
I need strength to handle this carefully. “I understand now why you’re so private at the club and why you turned me down when I suggested we go out.”
“I never should have joined the club. It was too risky. This is exactly what I feared.”
I squeeze her hand. “Hey, I know you’re shocked and panicking, but nothing has changed.”
She jerks her gaze to mine again. “Everything has changed. Do you have any idea how I’m feeling right now?” Luckily she continues without needing a response. “My worlds have collided.”
I suck in a breath. Those are the exact words I thought when I first saw her face.
“People expect things from me. I have a public persona to uphold. I can’t be seen as weak. I can’t be Little.”
“Nothing about you is weak, Hannah, and I feel sad that you obviously work so hard to deny yourself something you crave just to appease other people.”
She glares at me. “You don’t understand. How could you?”
She jerks her hand out of my grasp, scoots the bench back, and rises.
I want to drop my forehead down onto the bench seat as soon as she steps away. I hate the distance she puts between us. I rise but don’t move from my spot as I watch her hurry over to the windows. I doubt she’s seeing anything outside. I know I’m not.
My focus is on her and how she’s wrapped her arms around herself. How her hair is still lying down her back in perfect waves. I’ve stroked that hair before in a parallel universe. I’ve spanked the curved bottom I’m seeing. I’ve felt her heat even though I’ve never reached between her legs.
I’ve held her down when she has squirmed across my knees. I’ve experienced the swell of her breasts on my thighs. I know the scent of her arousal. I know the color of her favorite panties.
My chest is tight. My God, I’ve wanted her for a long time. If I could just…
“What do you think of the room?” she asks in a different voice. “The acoustics suck. I know it needs insulation or panels or something. Maybe a lower ceiling. I hate to lose these windows if I can help it. The view is amazing.”
I close the distance she’s put between us because I can’t stop myself, and I don’t want to. “Hannah…”
She glances at me when I step next to her. “You can’t call me that either. It sucks me into Little space. I can’t be her when I’m not at the club.”
I nod. “Would you like me to call you Carolina?”
She searches my face with the most serious expression. “I don’t know what I want.” At least she’s honest. “I can’t think.”
“What does Audrey know?” I need to understand this before she barges back into the room.
Okay. That’s surprising and it helps.
“It was her idea. That I join Surrender, I mean. She thought it would be good for me.”
I furrow my brow. “She knew you were Little?”
Hannah, Lordy, Carolina nods. “She’s like a mother to me. I’ve known her my entire life. I was never like other kids. I didn’t have friends. I had my piano and my music teachers. Audrey was my friend. My champion. She’s the one I went to when I started my period. She’s the one who read to me at night. She’s my everything.”
“She sounds amazing.”
“How did she find out you were Little?”
Carolina— I need to engrain this name in my brain and learn to toggle it. It feels important. She looks out the window again. “I tried to keep it private. I only let myself be real in my bedroom. My grandfather never knew. But Audrey knew. She knew for a long time before she confronted me. She researched age play thoroughly before she came to me.”
“That must have been scary.”
“Oh, I freaked out. I wanted to die. But we talked about it for hours, long into the night. She helped me understand that I wasn’t a freak, that there are others like me. She had already found Surrender, visited it, and spoken to Master Roman.”
I wince. I might have lost my shit if someone did all that behind my back. “Did this make you mad?”
She shrugs. “At first. But she only wants what’s best for me.” She looks down and wrings her hands together. “She’s the only family I have. I don’t know what I would do without her.”
I wonder how much of Carolina’s life is managed by Audrey. Perhaps more than just her business.
“I’m out of sorts,” Carolina whispers.
I turn and step between her and the window, facing her. I slowly lift my hand to her chin, making sure she’s well aware I’m going to touch her.
She inhales sharply at the contact, her eyes wide as she meets my gaze. I’m six-two. She’s about five-five. I tower over her. I don’t want to intimidate her, but I do want her to pay attention to what I’m going to say. “I need to know something.”
She licks her lips.
“When I’ve asked you out in the past, did you turn me down because you weren’t interested in me?”
She shudders. “No, Sir,” she whispers.
My God. She’s submitting to me. She’s brave enough not to lower her gaze too. “Did you turn me down because you made a vow to yourself not to ever let your personal life mix with your preferred kink?”
Her voice is even softer when she murmurs, “Yes, Sir.”
“In a perfect world, would you want a relationship with me?” My heart is racing.
She blinks. “We don’t live in a perfect world.”
I step closer. “Answer my question.”
Her breath hitches. “Yes.” She immediately steps back, breaking contact with me and putting several feet between us.
Her sudden distance doesn’t change the admissions she’s made.
As I stand here, watching her every move, I know one thing for certain.
She is mine.
Becca Jameson. Accepting Love – Becca Jameson (Kindle Locations 211-283). Kindle Edition.
From the realization that they are both interested, to their first date, to Zane being her full time Daddy, this is a journey of Hannah not only accepting who she is and learning to trust.
I love all the way things come together in this book especially with regard to Audrey who is far more than Caroline’s manager. She really is more like a mother to her.
The visit to Blossom Ridge is more freeing for Hannah than she could ever have imagined, and Zane is more than up to the challenge of merging the public and private personas of Hannah.
I can’t wait to see what Becca has in store for us next.
5 Contented Purrs for Becca!
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Becca Jameson is a USA Today bestselling author of over 100 books. She is most well-known for her Wolf Masters Series, her Fight Club series, and her Club Zodiac series. She currently lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband and Goldendoodle. Two grown kids pop in every once in a while too! She is loving this journey and has dabbled in a variety of genres, including paranormal, sports romance, military, and BDSM.
A total night owl, Becca writes late at night, sequestering herself in her office with a glass of red wine and a bar of dark chocolate, her fingers flying across the keyboard as her characters weave their own stories.
During the day–which never starts before ten in the morning!–she can be found jogging, running errands, or reading in her favorite hammock chair!
…where Alphas dominate…